Will people think I’m skiving because I’m too anxious to go to my lecture? Will people think it’s weird that public transport makes me feel panicky? Will people think I’m lazy if I choose to work from home? Do people judge me because I still live with my parents? I wonder what people think of me now I’m a single mum?
These are all questions that I’ve asked myself and often worried about at different times in my life because as much as I protest against it, I’ve always cared about what others think of me. I often feel that I need to justify my decisions so that people understand where I’m coming from or I worry that because people don’t know the real story, they’ll make the wrong assumption and I’ll come off badly. I even feel relieved if someone says something that shows they do understand or think I’m doing the right thing.
The thing is I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to care what the people close to you think about you. Their opinion and impression of you is important. The problem is when you’re worrying about people that aren’t close to you, don’t know you or aren’t really important to you. That’s something I’ve been guilty of recently. As much as I’ve said (even out loud) “It doesn’t really matter what they think” I’ve still continued to use up time pondering over it, which now I’m typing this, just seems so silly. I think I’m finally coming to a point where enough is enough and (in the wise words of Taylor Swift) I need to shake it off.
I want to teach Arthur to always be himself, to have confidence in the decisions he makes and not to get wrapped up in what other people might think but the only way I can do that properly is to believe and practise it myself. I guess I’m writing this post as a reminder to myself that I don’t need others’ approval or to care about what they think. As long as I am being true to myself and doing the best for my family that is all that matters. Plus if the people I’m worrying over aren’t important to me or even really in my life then I doubt that I even cross their minds, let alone will they concern themselves with what I’m doing!
So Megan (yes I’m addressing myself as I’m bound to need to come back to this post at some point) shake off any negativity you’re feeling, stop fretting over what others could possibly be thinking and continue doing what you’re doing to ensure the best possible life for your gorgeous son because he is everything.
And to you, the person reading this who may also feel the same…don’t let unimportant people take up your headspace. Don’t waste time worrying over what others could possibly think about you. Your time and headspace are valuable. Use them on something that truly matters.