Breastfeeding - The Final Feed


On Friday 8th September I breastfed my twenty two month old son for the very last time. I know some breastfeeding mothers get a feeling at the time of their final feed but for me, it's something I felt the next day. The idea of it just popped into my head and then when Arthur was happy to go to bed without his 'no no' (his name for it) I guessed I was right. Of course, he's asked for it since and whilst initially a little upset (no more than when I give him the wrong apple or put the Duplo block in the wrong place), he seems happy to have a cup of warm milk instead - something he'd never have been satisfied with before.

I remember saying that providing everything was okay, I'd breastfeed Arthur until he was one but when the time came, we weren't ready to stop. Since then, I've said a few times that I would 'probably stop soon' but until now it hadn't felt natural to do so. As of lately, he'd only been feeding in the evenings (and the ocassional morning) for a couple of minutes so it had become that simple that I didn't feel the need to stop until the time was right.

I feel like I should say that breastfeeding wasn't always that easy for me. I will never forget how difficult I found those first few days. It took five days for my milk to come in and I was really struggling to feed Arthur, who was jaundice and therefore very sleepy. We got to a point where I had to actually go back into hospital with him so he could be monitored and I ended up pumping pretty much non-stop and having my mum cup feed him my breast milk until he was awake enough to latch on. I remember feeling so guilty that he hadn't been getting what he needed from me, even though really it was no fault of my own. I think it's just so terrfying in those first few days when you're not only more exhausted than you've ever been before in your life but also dealing with the new responsibility of taking care of the most precious person you'll ever meet.


One of my strongest memories from those tough first few days was when we were alone in the hospital room together and things just suddenly clicked. My mum had gone downstairs to fetch us a drink and I picked Arthur up to try and latch him on again. All of a sudden he opened his big, beautiful eyes and then just did it, as if we'd never struggled before. That was such an important bonding moment for me. I still feel a little emotional thinking about it!

Of course I've had my ups and downs with it over the months. There've been times where I've said I don't want to do this anymore (after all no one wants their boob bitten with a freshly cut tooth) but thankfully, the positives of breastfeeding for both me and Arthur have greatly outweighed the negatives. I say this, knowing that this isn't the case for every mother and baby and therefore just want to reaffirm what I've said in many posts gone by FED IS BEST. It's all about what works for you and your little one.

The funny thing is that I thought I'd be ridiculously happy that I've finished breastfeeding but I actually feel a little sad that it's over...probably because it feels like my little boy is just that little bit more independent now...I don't know. Still, I feel very proud of us both! He's done so well these past few days and it's actually quite comforting knowing he doesn't depend on it now.

So yeah, there we have it, no more feeds! Well...I'd like to think it's something I'll get to do again in the future if I'm lucky enough. But not just yet - we don't want to panic the other half if he's reading this...or my dad. Though I can't imagine why either of them would be reading a post on breastfeeding. ANYWAY... I digress...I guess the last stage of this journey *vomits at the word journey* is getting rid of this milk I'm lugging around in what I can only describe as the biggest, most sensitive boobs I've had in months. I'm wondering when it's all gonna disappear, will it be days, weeks, months?! Google can't seem to give me a definite answer, so I guess I'll wait and see. Apparently cabbage leaves help. I'll leave you with that rather disturbing image of me...you're most welcome!

Megan x
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