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10 thoughts I've had as a new mummy

1. Why does everyone keep buying me baby shoes? Do babies even wear shoes?

2. *Gets out of the shower* What's that dripping on the floor? Oh just my breast milk.

3. I'm a feeding machine. I could literally bottle and sell my milk.

4. Is tea supposed to be hot? ...I've forgotten.

5. Five minute makeup challenge. I've got you down.

6. Why is my back tickling? Oh it's the baby sick running down it!

7. Now which breast did I use last time? *Jiggles them to see which one feels fuller*

8. Why do they make sleepsuits that button down one side? So not convenient for middle-of-the-night changes.

9. Baby outfits, a great idea for your newborn, until you actually have an newborn. Pass me the sleepsuits - so much easier!

10. How did I possibly make something so beautiful?